Posted by pretentious illiterate at 1:44 PM on Novem Sometimes, you don't feel that physical attraction right away, and so even though you're directing a disproportionate amount of your mental and emotional energy obsessing about the person, the usual alarm bells don't go off it feels 'safe.' But then, when the physical attraction does kick in, you're already super invested and kind of locked into the person, and it can be really, really hard to pull away.Īgain, I don't think it's bad that you have a crush! Just be aware that the line between platonic and not is never quite as bold and definitive as it seems, and try to be as responsible and self-aware as you can, both for the sake of your friendship with this guy and for the sake of your marriage. I've seen this happen most often when people talk about their 'work husbands' or 'work wives,' but it also happens in instances of, like, 'my oldest friend from college,' or whatever. The thing is, though, that crushes most often spin out of control and do real damage when they come in under the guise of a platonic relationship. Even though you're not feeling the urge to jump his bones at the moment, if you're feeling the limerence (the idolizing, the obsessive thoughts, the hyper-sensitivity) it's a crush.and that's okay! You can be happily married and have crushes. In fact, I would be explicitly wary of telling yourself that it's in any fundamental way different than any other crush. I would treat this as I would any other crush - distance, honesty, and some self-analysis, as restless_nomad describes above.
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